Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize