Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
