It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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