I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize