I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
