Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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