You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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