no, he came in my armpit
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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