new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
