Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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