somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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