I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
