remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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