Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
