you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
