how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
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I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
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He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize