i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
