so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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