so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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