If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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