It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
