if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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