If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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