So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
