Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I know her cup size but not her name....
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
