Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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