also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
