I wish I could punch you in the face.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
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The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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