i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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