Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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