I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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