White coat. Heels.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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