My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
