you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
