Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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