It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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