i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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