Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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