Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
