can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I know her cup size but not her name....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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