i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
