i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize