butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Damn victory sex feels great
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
