Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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