Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
