i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
