ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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