Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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