her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
