Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
