Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
