return my video game
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
