we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
