I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other