sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
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Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
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His new job just became new places to have sex at.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER