Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
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you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am naked and annoyed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??