last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.