I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.