your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.