would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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