His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.