the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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