So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize