Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?

(1-815): View more from Illinois

You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Now it won't go down.

(512): View more from Texas

You've got a gift.

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(706): View more from Georgia

TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!

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(206): View more from Washington

No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt

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(419): View more from Ohio

I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila

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(703): View more from Virginia

Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.

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