Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the day after is always just damage control
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!