if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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