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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now

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• (315): View more from New York

  I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"

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• (323): View more from California

  He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.

  (310): View more from California

  Please stop calling it that.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.

  (941): View more from Florida

  Oh at the liquor store again?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown

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