Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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