There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
