his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
