your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
