I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize