I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
