I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
